


A Letter to Kaidan

by DreadfulSanity



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: F/M, Letters, Mass Effect 2, Short One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-14
Updated: 2015-10-14
Packaged: 2018-04-26 08:42:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 664
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4998202
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DreadfulSanity/pseuds/DreadfulSanity
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Before she passed the Omega-4 relay, Shepard needed to write a letter to Kaidan. To say all those things she couldn't say on Horizon.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Letter to Kaidan

 

T minus two hours. While Shepard was on her way to her cabin she thought about that old sci-fi series one of her buddies back on earth loved so much.

_Space: the final frontier. These are the voyages of the starship Enterprise. Its continuing mission: to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilizations, to boldly go where no one has gone before._

Where no one has gone before… _and survived_ , she added in her thoughts. It was like two years ago, when she headed for Ilos, chasing Saren. Ilos…

Back in her cabin, Shepard went straight to her desk with his picture on it. She missed him so much. Horizon left a huge void in her heart. What did she expected, when she finally met him? That everything would be as before? Before she died? This wasn't an old fucking Disney movie. This was reality. She broke his heart first. Not on purpose, but that didn't make it better.

She sat down and started recording.

~*~

Hey Kaidan,  
  
well, this is it. I've gathered resources, built a strange but strong team and did every preparation I could think off.

A few hours ago, the Collectors attacked the Normandy… again. They abducted my crew, except of Joker, my squad and myself, and I will send them straight into hell for that. Joker did a great job saving at least the ship, while I was on a mission. A trap. It was a fucking trap and I haven't seen it. But I'll get them back and those big, ugly bugs will pay for it. We've set course to the Omega-4 relay. T minus 2h.

You know this moment. The calm right before the storm. Reminds about Ilos and our first night together. I'll never forget that night. I miss you so much, Kaidan. Haven't had much time thinking since Horizon, but right now… there's nothing left to do for me. Just waiting… and thinking. About you. About us. About what happened to me. About how you must have felt all the time. And what would have been, if all this shit never have been happened.

My alliance with Cerberus… believe me, I tried to find another way. Visited Anderson, spoke to the Council, but nobody listened… as usual. I saw the Collectors. Saw records of what they did to our people. I needed Cerberus' money and resources to stop them. So I supped up with the devil.

Before I pass through the relay, I want you to know, that - no matter what happens - I loved you. I still do. Watching you go away on Horizon was one of the hardest things I've ever done. The truth is, I would have probably reacted the same way. Gee, I still can't believe that I was dead. Don't laugh, but I run to Chakwas on a daily basis to check me from tip to toe.

Doctor Chakwas… she's in one of those pods the Collectors put their victims in. And I'll take her back. I won't let her or the others die in there. Chances to come back alive are little, but if I can beat the odds again… you'll find me in an Alliance brig, when I return.

Take care of yourself, Kaidan.

In love,  
Shepard

~*~

“EDI?”  
“Yes, Shepard?” Behind her, next to the door appeared the familiar hologram from the ship's AI.  
“Can you do me a favour? I need this message delivered right before we pass the Omega-4 Relay. Cerberus shouldn't notice, if possible.”  
“As you wish, Shepard”  
“Thanks EDI.” The hologram disappeared.

She sat down and looked at his picture for a long time. She didn't want to forget his face, the calm eyes, the little scar across his soft lips. If she only could turn back time, she could have the life with him she dreamed about secretly. But things went different and it's most likely that she'll never see him again.

A rare, small tear dropped off her chin.


End file.
